call me typhoon

I am the wind
only when it blows through the crevices of buildings
and the holes in your hat.
Free me from those holes
because I need you to know
that I love and need you, that I’m not okay,
as much as I hate you and push you away as much as I want you there as much as much as much as much as much
as much as I can use you
to fill a gaping hole the hurricanes left in my chest. I need you to know it’s there.

Don’t get sick again darling,
why must you scare me so?
The times I say I love you
shouldn't make me cry, but they do,
They do, they do, they do.
I am the wind
when I am the sky, the rain, the snow, the shards of glass in your fingers
the razor blades the apologies the need the want the realization the crescent slivers on my thighs.
I make you sick darling,
when I am the wind, brushing against your skin and chilling your crooked bones,
when I’m resting my tired eyes on your sleeping shoulder
when you carry my soul
when I carry yours.

And I need you to know that I’ll never love you like I should
because I've come to accept
that I am the wind
and I shatter buildings, destroy cities, make holes
in you.